#BHVR2015: INTERVIEW – CHRISTEENE TALKS PONIES, BUTT PLUGS AND BALLROOM

Award-winning performance artist, drag queen, queer agent provocateur, rapper, punk hero, and self-described “human pissoir” – CHRISTEENE is all these things and more. After winning an Arches Brick Award in 2014, her deliriously entertaining show THE CHRISTEENE MACHINE returns to Behaviour Festival for one night only on Friday 8 May – a handful of tickets remain. Part gig, part furious ritual, her intense stage presence has drawn comparisons with Alice Cooper, Peaches, and “Beyonce on bath salts.”

The lucky Behaviour faithful get to see her not once, but twice – on Saturday, Christeene will perform a headline set at our outrageous collision of clubbing and live performance, Dark Behaviour, alongside the likes of Aerea Negrot, David Hoyle (to whom Christeene is in fact “married“), and CVNT TRAXXX. We spoke to the Louisiana-born, Texas-based artist about her first trip to Glasgow, the magic of butt plugs, and the influence of ballroom and vogue on her incendiary stage show.

Describe your show, for the uninitiated…

Da CHRISTEENE MACHINE iz a fuggin deep dive down uh stank electro hole dats gonna take you too da woods an feed ur pony hard.

Tell us something surprising about the creation of your show…

I never knew tha majiikal surprises that would happen when you combine butt plugs with 8 helium balloons til this show wuz created fer da world.

We are celebrating ‘Queer Futures’ at Dark Behaviour.  Do you think people are more tolerant of non-gender-normative people than they used to be?

Hell yeah they more tolerant cuz they have to be. Iz in their face now, iz in their life an on tha plate now and even if they gotta hold tha nose ta eat it… they gunna have tooo eat it up. Therrs always gunna be them folks dat wanna scrape tha food under tha table an feed it to da dawg, but I got newz ferr them people. Da dawg iz on our side toooo haaaaaay. Times r changin faster than u can piss.

Playing alongside you on Saturday is CVNT TRAXXX, a British DJ who has done a lot to publicise the ballroom and vogue scenes in the UK and beyond. To what extent are ballroom music and vogueing an influence on your performance?

I fugggin LUV CVNT TRAXXX!!! Wee friends from Salford an wee share a lotta tha same mess in our heads. Ballroom music an Vogue’n tap into the pulse of the majiic trak inside our faggot souls. Its the rhythm an tha lineage an tha unstoppable force that can make a body move an swish in a way dat only this style uh music can doo. It influences my heart hard an when I work wit producers like JJ Booya an other producers it can find its way in and inspire da wurk from those foundations that keep tha family strong.

You are throwing a dinner party – you can invite whichever famous people, artists, or historical figures you like, living or dead. Who’s on the guest list and why?

I would like ta have Gore Vidal cuz he was a damned smart sassy political queen who would make trouble. Elizabeth Taylor an Richard Burton so they could fuck an fight under da table. Quentin Crisp to smack Gore down an eat real slow. Justin Vivian Bond to keep da room alive an ta laugh an scratch wit Quentin. My dancers T Gravel an C Baby cuz they soooo fuggin charmin. Little Richard cuz dat queen is CRAY an she scream a lot. Barbra Stanwyck cuz she so fuckin butch an hawt, an my cat Tickles Pickles.

You won an Arches Brick Award in 2014 for your Fringe show – are you happy to be back in Scotland? What is your favourite thing about our country or its people?

Winnin da Brick was da fuggin best…not tooo mention da only trophy I ever got an it wuz a fuggin BRICK. #trashy. Meee an da boyz are so dammned happy ta bee back in Scotland.. specially Glasgow wherrr we never been before. I gotta say, da fools an wild fucks we met from Glasgow while we wuz in Edinburgh? Diz iz gunna be gooooood. Full force reunion. I wanna see all da fuggin cray cray ass people dat I met last year at da Edinburgh Festival who live in Glasgow. I wanna share diz wurk wit them. I wanna taste their hard wurk. I wanna live again.

What has been the highlight of your career so far?

Travelin da world with my Boyz an havin some uh tha most important an creative conversations with other artists about da state of dis fucked up world and how we gonna fix it.

What’s the best thing about performing at a festival?

I luv da fuggin mix in dat crowd. I seen pregnant women, porn stars, old ass punks, faggots, dykes, teenage gurls, fashion designers, u name it. Iz a family affair.

What are you working on next?

I’m wurkin out an EP ferr 2015 dats got about 3 new fuckin videos attached to it.

Finally, a guest question from CVNT TRAXXX: “Where’s your pony at?”

My ponies are runnin all OVER diz side of da ocean!! When we go on deez tours, we git ta let da ponies run like dey never can in Texxxas. Iz da best feelin. Sometimes peeple try ta kick my pony when I in’t lookin. It makes my pony stronger. It make my pony larger. Iz a helluva tour.

Christeene: The Christeene Machine Fri 8 May 2015 | Doors: 7.30pm Show: 8.30pm (60 mins) | £12/£10 (Behaviour Festival Pass: £60/£53) (+£1.50 online-only TF) | 18+ Dark Behaviour: Queer Futures Sat 9 May 2015 | 10pm – 3am | Early Bird: £10 | Standard: £14 (£8 with a Behaviour Festival Pass) | 18+ Part of Behaviour Festival

PRESS RELEASE: THE ARCHES "LEFT WITH NO OTHER CHOICE" THAN TO GO INTO ADMINISTRATION

PRESS RELEASE: THE ARCHES GRANTED ADVANCE ON AGREED FUNDING FROM CREATIVE SCOTLAND AND GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL

A JOINT STATEMENT FROM THE ARCHES, CREATIVE SCOTLAND AND GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL

PRESS RELEASE: THE ARCHES BOARD TAKES LEGAL ADVICE OVER LICENCE DECISION

THANK YOU.

A STATEMENT FROM MARK ANDERSON ON TODAY'S LICENSING BOARD DECISION

#BHVR2015: AN INTERVIEW WITH HAROLD OFFEH

#BHVR2015: FROM THE DESK OF CHRISTOPHER BRETT BAILEY

#BHVR2015: INTERVIEW - CHRISTEENE TALKS PONIES, BUTT PLUGS AND BALLROOM

#BHVR2015 - STEPHANIE KATIE HUNTER UNVEILS THE NEW BILL FOR #ARCHESCOMMONS

#BHVR2015: LOOKOUT - AN INTERVIEW WITH ANDY FIELD

#BHVR2015: A MESSAGE FROM CHRISTEENE

#BHVR2015: MEET HUMAN HAMSTER SAKO KOJIMA

#BHVR2015: EMPOWERING THE AUDIENCE - AN INTERVIEW WITH CONEY'S TOM BOWTELL

#BHVR2015: CATRIN EVANS - AT THE HEART OF THE MATTER

#BHVR2015: SCOTLAND THE BREAD - A LOAF-CHANGING EXPERIENCE!

#BHVR2015: PETER MCMASTER INTERVIEW

#BHVR2015: Q&A WITH GARY GARDINER, CO-CREATOR OF DANCER

#BHVR2015 PODCASTS: CHRIS THORPE INTERVIEW

#BHVR2015 PODCASTS: AMY SHARROCKS AND THE MUSEUM OF WATER

#BHVR2015 PODCASTS - THE LAUNCH & BUSH MOUKARZEL (DEAD CENTRE) INTERVIEW

#BHVR2015: THE FUTURE IS VERY, VERY CLOSE - AN INTERVIEW WITH SHARON SMITH OF GOB SQUAD

#BHVR2015: MULTIDIMENSIONAL TEXTS - AN INTERVIEW WITH ARTIST, WRITER & PERFORMER TIM ETCHELLS

CREW JOIN US FOR LOVE ACTION

IMPORTANT: A STATEMENT FROM THE ARCHES - PLEASE READ

AN UPDATE ON TODAY'S LICENSING BOARD HEARING

AN UPDATE ON THE EARLY CLOSURE OF GBX EASTER BUNNY (28/03/2015)

BBN GLASGOW - HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR NIGHT TO END?

A SPACE IBIZA PLAYLIST BY VILMOS (THE SHIMMY, CLUB SHANGRILA)

ALTHOUGH IT'S BEEN SAID MANY TIMES, MANY WAYS...

A FEW QUESTIONS FOR UMMET OZCAN

STAY SAFE THIS CHRISTMAS

DUSKY BRING FUNKINEVIL, TOM TRAGO, YOUANDEWAN AND PALMS TRAX TO GLASGOW

THE ARCHES COMMUNITY CHOIR SONGRAISER A STUNNING SUCCESS!

COLOURS LAUNCH NEW RECORD LABEL - GET INVOLVED!

A BRIEF HISTORY OF BOYSNOIZE RECORDS

THE VERDICT: AL SEED'S OOG

LEGENDARY CLUB SPACE IBIZA CELEBRATE THEIR 25TH ANNIVERSARY AT THE ARCHES

AN INTERVIEW WITH AL SEED

THE ARCHES WEEKEND PLAYLIST, FT. ETON MESSY, BOYS NOIZE, DEFECTED RECORDS AND MORE

NEW YOUTH PROGRAMMES AT THE ARCHES - WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THE CAST OF ENDURANCE REFLECT

WATCH THE ARCHES LIVE 2014 TRAILER

ZOOM PRESENTS: INTERVIEWS WITH MARCEL WOODS AND CRAIG CONNELLY

TALKING BANKSY WITH STV

Q&A: CHRIS LIEBING [CLR RECORDS]

THE ARCHES' EARLY DAYS ON REFERENDUM TONIGHT

GET READY FOR THE WEEKEND WITH OUR FRIDAY PLAYLIST!

ARCHES BRICK AWARD 2014: GUTTERLY BRILLIANT WINNERS ANNOUNCED

THE CHOIR IS BACK! THURSDAY 7 AUGUST 2014

INTEC AMBASSADOR: JON RUNDELL

A MOMENT'S PEACE, CREATIVE WOMEN AND MONTHS OF SEARCHING...

THE RETURN OF GHOSTFACE KILLAH

CARL COX RETURNS TO THE ARCHES WITH INTEC DIGITAL

TALK ABOUT AN UNCOMMON WEALTH OF TALENT...

JUNGLE PERFORM LIVE ON THE JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW

THE GUARDIAN INTERVIEW THE 'BRITISH HOUSE MAFIA'

OPENING UP CLUB CULTURE: AN INTERVIEW WITH LATE

IMPORTANT CUSTOMER INFORMATION

TRIBUTE TO ARCHES ARTIST-IN-RESIDENCE ADRIAN HOWELLS

ARCHES UP FOR NATIONAL SUCCESS AT BEST BAR NONE AWARDS

THE ARCHES SEEKING ARTISTS/PRODUCERS/COLLECTIVES FOR DARK BEHAVIOUR

PLATFORM 18: NEW DIRECTIONS AWARD WINNERS ANNOUNCED

THE ARCHES GRABS GOLD IN BEST BAR NONE AWARDS ONCE AGAIN!

VOTE FOR THE ARCHES IN THE BEST BAR NONE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS

THE ARCHES REACHES WIRELESS AMB:IT:ION

THE ARCHES HEADS EAST FOR THE FRINGE

STRATHCLYDE POLICE ISSUE SAFETY ADVICE FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON

THE ARCHES WINS CREATIVE SCOTLAND THEATRE AWARD FOR WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT

ARCHES BRICK AWARD 2012 WINNERS ARE ANNOUNCED

THE ARCHES RETURNS FROM EDINBURGH FRINGE 2012 WITH A FEW AWARDS

VOTE FOR CONFLUX TO WIN AT NATIONAL LOTTERY AWARDS

BEATS WINS BEST PLAY AT THE CATS 2012

BEATS UP FOR CATS 2012

PROPOSALS NOW BEING ACCEPTED FOR ARCHES LIVE AND BLACKBOX GRADUATE VISUAL ART AWARD

GMFF NEWS: WET SOUNDS NOW AT ARLINGTON BATHS

CAFE BAR AND RESTAURANT LAUNCH NEW JANUARY 2012 MENUS

BACK TO BUSINESS

CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR OPENING HOURS

FOURTH OVERALL GOLD WIN FOR THE ARCHES AT BEST BAR NONE AWARDS 2011

ARCHES WINS 'BEST LATE NIGHT VENUE' AT SLTN AWARDS 2011

BRICK AWARD 2011 WINNERS ANNOUNCED

MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE...? WINS TOTAL THEATRE AWARD

ANCNOC BLACKBOX GRADUATE VISUAL ARTS AWARD WINNER ANNOUNCED

ARCHES ANNOUNCE 2011 EDINBURGH FESTIVAL FRINGE SHOWS

REFUGEE WEEK - COURAGE EXHIBITION AND FILM TO LAUNCH AT ARCHES

LYKKE LI SHOW RESCHEDULED FOR OCTOBER

ELIZA CARTHY AND MOTHER SCOOP TWO BBC RADIO 2 FOLK AWARDS

ARCHES ACHIEVES INVESTOR IN PEOPLE STATUS FOR FOURTH YEAR

OVERALL GOLD WIN AT BEST BAR NONE AWARDS 2010