Tag Archives: self improvement

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Adversity is a Blessing in Disguise

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity” -Epicurus

What do all human beings have in common?

We are all faced with the challenges and struggles that life brings. At the age of 18, I was sexually molested by an older man. During this time in my life, I became depressed, lost weight, and became very distorted about my reality. The day I came back home to my parents, I was standing at a cross road. I had the option of either allowing this man and situation to negatively affect the rest of my life or to view this adversity as a learning experience and make the necessary changes in my life. The decision was clear. I made the mental commitment that this adversity is a learning experience and I will overcome this challenge.  This was the beginning of my personal transformation. I told the universe that I will become a stronger and wiser woman because of this experience. I envisioned a life and marriage that would be truly worth living for.

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Top 4 Benefits Of Taking Time To Yourself

Have you taken a look at your inner world recently? With so many distractions in this world, it’s easy to just “go with the crowd” rather than making the necessary changes in your life. When it comes to personal time, it seems like so many of us forget the importance of taking care of oneself. You may have a busy schedule that does not allow you to have any extra time to yourself. But without taking time to yourself, there is a price to pay. This price may cause you to loose your marriage, job, or even your life.  Below are the top 5 benefits of taking time to yourself.

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Why Being an Introvert Strengthens Your Marriage

What’s the difference between an introvert and an extrovert? An introvert is highly stimulated by an environment that is quiet and peaceful. An introvert enjoys spending time a part from the crowd. In contrast, an extrovert is highly  stimulated by an environment that is social and loud. An extrovert enjoys spending time with the crowd. Introverts focus most of their energy on their internal world whereas, extroverts focus most of their energy on their external world.


Being an introvert will help you focus your attention on your relationship. Being an introvert allows you to focus internally on how you can best develop and deepen the connection that you have with your spouse. There is nothing wrong with being an extrovert in your marriage. The purpose of this article is to help you understand the importance of focusing your energy on your internal world rather than the external world. Being highly stimulated in a quiet and peaceful environment nurtures reflection and the ability to gain the wisdom of life.


You are faced with so many distractions in the external world that you can easily lose sight on what is truly important in your life. Marriage is a deep commitment and bond between two individuals that should be held with high standards. We as human beings are constantly battling off the darkness of life. This darkness consists of all the distractions that can and will take you away from your spouse. Because we are human, we have imperfections. We have temptations that can get the best of us. These temptations can be as simple as eating chocolate or being addicted to pornography. No matter how big or small these temptations are for you, you must take control of your marriage by focusing your energy on your internal world. The external world is what you can not control whereas your internal world is what you can control.

Why Focus on Being An Introvert?


As our society continues to grow and develop, so does our human race. The more complex our external world becomes, the more you must focus on developing your internal world. Your internal world consists of who you are, what you believe in, and the values that you live by. Your internal world can be affected by your external world either in a positive or negative way. You can view the external world from a perspective that is inspiring, encouraging and uplifting or view the external world from a perspective that is discouraging, frightening and overwhelming. You have the option to either focus your energy on your external world or your internal world.


Your internal world will be what influences you to make decisions according to what you believe in. You can either believe the standards of the external world or the standards of your internal world. I see so many people being caught up in the external world that they forget about strengthening their marriage in their internal world. When you focus too much of your time and energy on the external world such as fame, money and materialistic possessions, you lose sight with strengthening your marriage.


Without a solid foundation in your internal world, you will be easily tempted to just “follow the crowd”. Follow the latest trends and standards of society. You will say yes to things such as buying a new flat screen television or buying a brand new Lexus just because you see it on television or  you want to impress your friends. Buying “stuff” will not strengthen your marriage. Wanting to impress your friends with a new car that you bought will not strengthen your marriage. What will strengthen your marriage is to focus your energy on your internal world. By taking  the time out of your day to reflect on how you can best love your spouse, you will strengthen your marriage.


When you make the mental decision to focus on your internal world, you are creating the marriage that you truly want and deserve. Your internal world is the compass that will help guide you in the right direction. Commit to developing yourself as an individual and as a spouse. Work on strengthening your marriage rather than reaching for the external world to complete you. When you focus on your internal world, you will be complete. When you focus on the external world, you will always have something missing. Fame, money and materialistic possessions will never fully complete you. Being true to who you are, knowing what you believe in and living each day in alignment with your values will fully complete you.


How To Focus On Your Internal World


  • First things first, you must make the mental decision to focus on your internal world. You must commit on a daily basis to focus your attention on developing who you are and deepening the connection with your spouse.
  • Turn off the television in the evenings and focus on reconnecting with your spouse. So many couples just plop in front of the television after a long day of work. This does nothing but weaken the foundation of your marriage. Reconnect with your spouse after a long day of work.
  • Take the time to reflect on a daily basis on your values and beliefs in life. Write down your values on a piece of paper and have it in a place where you visually see and say it on a daily basis.
  • Instead of reading magazines, start reading personal development and marriage books. This has really helped me in my own marriage and continues to deepen my connection with my husband. Go to your local library, get yourself a library card and start reading books that will strengthen your mind and your marriage.
  • Sit down with your spouse and write down what your values and beliefs are as a couple. Make it a point to live each day in alignment with your deepest values and beliefs.
  • Stop trying to impress your friends and start loving your spouse. This is as simple as doing the dishes, cleaning the cat litter or mowing the lawn. If you want to strengthen your marriage, you must focus on loving your spouse rather than trying to keep up with the Joneses.
  • Spend each weekend together in a quiet place where you can both “just be“. A healthy marriage consists of both individuals being able to just let go. When you find yourself having to put up a facade, you can not fully strengthen your marriage. Spend time just talking or reading on the couch. There is power in simplicity.


Your internal world is what you can control. How you love your spouse and how you live each day is what you can control. The media and society’s standard of living is what you can not control. You must focus on what you can change and invest each and every day on strengthening your marriage. Your internal world is who you are, what you believe in and living in alignment with your deepest values. 


“What are some aspects of your internal world that you can start focusing on that will strengthen your marriage?”


How To Appreciate Your Life Every Single Day

Do you take the time to appreciate your life on a daily basis? Or does it seem like the daily stress of life blocks you from appreciating your life? Appreciation is when you are able to fully recognize the worth and value of “something” or “someone”.  When you appreciate a car, you fully recognize the worth and value of your car. Even more importantly, when you appreciate your spouse, you fully recognize the worth and value of your spouse.

Now, being able to know the  difference between things and meaningful people in your life will  influence the direction of your life. Continue reading

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Top 9 Ways To Keep A Fulfilling Marriage

A fulfilling relationship focuses on the core foundation. The foundation in which your relationship is built upon. Being able to have a fulfilling relationship takes work. Think about building a house. You can’t possibly start with the roof. You MUST start with the foundation. It takes a while to establish a solid foundation so that the house will not fall apart. This is also true with having a fulfilling relationship. It will take a while to establish a solid foundation so that your relationship does not fall apart. This article is long because I am deeply passionate about the foundation that you establish in your marriage. I have taken the top ways that have lead me to experience a fulfilling marriage with my husband and shared it with you in this article.  It has worked for us and I want it to work for you.

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Meaningful Happiness In Your Life

All of us want to experience happiness but only a handful experience meaningful happiness. We live in a society where we are constantly being distracted with materialistic possessions and society’s standard of living. We become so distracted that we lose a sense of self. We start modeling what we see in the media  and the way celebrities are living their life that we forget about our own life. The more you surround yourself with the media, the more you will be influenced to change your life based upon what you see. Let’s say you sit down one evening and start watching your favorite reality show. This becomes  an evening routine of watching your favorite show. Subconsciously you will start mimicking what you see in the show in your daily life. The way the people in the show act, will be how you act. The way they handle their relationships with others will become a similar way of how you handle your relationships. Little do you know, you start putting the media in charge of designing your life. You start dressing, acting, and behaving just like your favorite stars. The more you surround yourself with the media and society’s standard of living the further away you are from experiencing meaningful happiness.

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Top 5 Ways To Invest In Your Personal Development

The best type of investment that you can ever make for yourself is the investment in your personal development. We experience so much noise on a daily basis, that we lose a sense of self. We are constantly surrounded by media, society’s standard of living and others that we lose track on our priorities. Every aspect of your life is all connected to the core of you. When one aspect of your life is affected in a negative way, other aspects of your life will also be affected. When you put your marriage as last priority, other aspects of your life will be affected such as your performance at work and the relationship that you have with your family. Prioritize what truly is important in your life. Place your marriage as a top priority. Invest every single day in developing your marriage. Not only will you become closer to your spouse but all other aspects in your life will improve.

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